Lots of good men: Meeting AND Marrying a Good Man

This insightful book explores the essential considerations every woman should reflect on before saying "I do." From understanding the marriage contract to evaluating their own lifestyle and identifying the qualities of a compatible partner, Lots of Good Men: Meeting and Marrying a Good Man empowers readers to make informed decisions about love and commitment.  Author Karen Reed writes with the warmth and honesty of a trusted aunt or close friend who has been there. Her advice is heartfelt, relatable, and designed to help you navigate the journey without falling into common pitfalls. Throughout the book, Karen shares personal anecdotes and helpful resources, adding depth and authenticity to her guidance.  Packed with practical advice and thought-provoking insights, this book is a must-read for anyone seeking to navigate the complexities of relationships and build a strong foundation for a lasting marriage. 

First, I would like to thank all the women who have played the matchmaking and storytelling card game, Lots of Good Men. For more than 15 years, the insights I have gained from playing Lots of Good Men with hundreds of women have inspired me to write this book. During that time, I have met many single women who deeply desire to marry but cannot seem to meet available men. I have also met single women who meet available men but struggle to build and sustain healthy relationships. Finally, I have met many women in committed relationships, some who are fulfilled and others who are not. I am deeply grateful to all of these women for opening their hearts and sharing their stories with me.

I am also extremely grateful to all of my dear friends, family and new acquaintances, who literally brought life to the Lots of Good Men card game with their excitement and enthusiasm: Alesha Green, Amery Dickerson, Angela Capers, Atline McCullough, Annette Parker, Ayanna Wallace, Carla Larry, Carlene Eddings, Carolyn Holmes, Chamel Jackson, Chanel Lamb, Cheryl Bonner, Dana Scruggs, Denise Springfield, Denise Richardson, Donna White, Dorcas Mosley, Elizabeth Daniel, Elizabeth Jemison, Emmabeth Weaver, Francine Toukou, Gee Gee Clark, Ivina Latham-Russell, Jessica Sinclair, Jo West, Johari Hamilton, Katrina Stallings, Kappa Delta 2023-24 LDC’s and the fun HQ employees, Latonia Brooks, Lisa Glass, Lexie Carter, Lynn Wade, Melba Vinson, Okoia Stoddard, Pam Arrindell, Sharon Shaw, Shelly Madison, Shon Chambers, Sonja Wigginson, Sylvia Sutton, Tanya Peacock, Tarsha Hall, Yvonne Russell and the ladies of the Woods Family. Thank you for hosting and/or arranging Lots of Good Men card game parties, promoting game sales and/or making the Lots of Good Men card game so much fun to play. 

I would also like to acknowledge the women with good husbands who participated in the Good Husband Survey. I used the results from the survey to help me author this book. 

Special thanks and heartfelt appreciation go to Dr. Vernell Bennett-Fairs. In 2023, during her tenure as president of LeMoyne-Owen College, an HBCU in Memphis, Tennessee, Dr. Bennett-Fairs graciously invited me to participate in the I AM Her Women’s Conference luncheon. At this inspiring gathering, I had the opportunity to introduce the Lots of Good Men card game to a remarkable group of professional women and college students. That day turned out to be extraordinary, as I achieved my highest single-day sales to date. 

I am deeply grateful to my daughter, Okoia Stoddard; my sisters, Annette Parker, Carolyn Holmes and Idas Atkinson; my dear nieces, Chanel Lamb and Christina Shine; and my good friends, Audrey Mock, Denise Richardson, Jessica Sinclair, Johari Hamilton, Katrina Stallings and Sylvia Sutton. Okoia, Annette, Carolyn, Chanel, Idas, Denise, Jessica, Johari and Katrina graciously listened as I read excerpts of the book to them during the writing process, offering fresh perspectives and helping me build confidence along the way. Audrey, Christina and Sylvia, on the other hand, meticulously read the entire manuscript once it was completed, providing invaluable corrections and insightful feedback before it reached the copy editor. 

I would be remiss if I didn’t take a moment to express my gratitude to the men in my life: my husband, Floyd Reed; my son, Joshua Hillah-Ayite; and my brothers, Andre Parker, David Russell, Edward Parker, and Vernon Russell (listed alphabetically). These men inspired the title of my book, Lots of Good Men, and they are my living proof that there truly are lots of good men in this world. They exemplify what it means to be good providers, protectors, and extraordinary human beings. 

My belief that there are lots of good men in the world extends beyond my own family. I have been fortunate to meet outstanding family men, too many to name. However, I must acknowledge two exceptional individuals: IOG Brother McKinley Williams and Metropolitan Baptist Church Pastor Walter P. Alston. These men embody the values of love, leadership, and service, not only to their families and churches but also to their community. 

Special thanks to my exceptional copy editor, June Straight, who polished the manuscript, designed the cover, and guided me through every step of the publishing process. 

Thank you to my wonderful daughter, Okoia, her husband Damian, and their twin boys, my cherished grandsons, Gabriel and Levi, as well as to my amazing son Joshua. Their boundless love and unwavering support make my life beautiful. 

Most importantly, I give all honor and praise to my Heavenly Father who is the giver of all gifts, knowledge, and understanding. 

I have found that in life, it is not the most beautiful, smartest, or wealthiest person who has the greatest opportunity to marry a good husband. Rather, it is the one who best plays the cards they are dealt, the one who along with a strong desire for marriage, has the wisdom, confidence, and determination to make the most of what they have. 

In this book, I aim to provide a guide to help single women meet and marry a good man and also discover if marriage aligns with their personal path. I do this by providing women with a realistic perspective on marriage, one that contrasts sharply with the idealized portrayals seen in romantic comedies, romance novels and other fictional depictions of romance and marriage. The reality experienced behind closed doors is greatly varied and may be quite different than what you would expect. 

In this book, I share a few short personal stories that may help you avoid some of the pitfalls I encountered. I also reference the best-selling book of all time, the Bible, along with many other books, including The Five Love Languagesby Dr. Gary Chapman, Oprah’s The Life You Want Planner published by Oprah Daily LLC, and the 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen R. Covey. The wisdom and perspectives I have gained from these books have helped me identify the five life lessons listed below.

Although most of these books have a Christian foundation, their perspectives are highly applicable to everyone. I firmly believe that these five life lessons can help single women in their quest for marriage.

Life Lesson #1:Marriage is a sacred union that should not be entered into lightly.

Life Lesson #2: Each person is unique. People have their own distinct qualities and bring their own perspectives. Gaining insight into these differences can help you to choose the right spouse and profoundly enrich your relationship.

● Individuals show and receive love differently. 

● Family cultures vary from one to another and can deeply influence an individual’s perspective.

● People are driven by their own unique priorities and interests.

Life Lesson #3: There are lots of good people in the world, but people are imperfect. There is no such thing as a perfect human being. A lasting marriage is just two imperfect individuals who never give up.

Life Lesson #4: Each human being is responsible for their own happiness.

Life Lesson #5: Good relationships are built over time